Brink of Insanity
I don’t understand why this keeps happening to me. I come home from school, walk into my room and cry. Why? Sometimes I have a reason, sometimes I don’t; am I really so pathetic that I don’t even know why I cry? Well no, scratch that. I know why I do. I feel worthless; to my friends, to my family, and to society in general. I feel nauseous each day from the anxiety of not knowing if I will become something worth while in life. It scares me, it scares me more than anything. Why? Because I’m not good at anything. At least, that’s what I’m told. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never considered suicide an option. I consider it all the time, but I haven’t even attempted. It’s not because I’m scared to die, because I could care less about death; it’s because I don’t want my family or my loved ones to get hurt; to think it’s their fault. Obviously it would be their fault, since they’ve pushed me to my limit of sanity; but I care about them too much to make them feel any sort of guilt. I’m not selfish, I care too much about other people. Maybe that’s what the true issue is. I just care too much. Is that why selfish people usually get what they want? Because they only care about themselves? If I only cared about myself, would I be able to jump off a cliff without the worry of what my loved ones felt? Who knows. I’ll tell you who doesn’t know, me. And I probably never will. Because I care too much. Break Down complete. “Sane” mode commensing. Stability: Weak
